I was privileged to sit under the ministration of a revered Bishop in an orientation meeting for leaders during our service year.

He told us the reason our fellowship had a law prohibiting leaders from entering into a relationship while in office.

In one of the state chapters of the fellowship I served, a group of sisters were prayer partners. During one of their prayer meetings, one of the sisters told her colleagues that a brother was asking for her hand in marriage.

Other sisters became curious to know who the brother was. She told them it was the fellowship president. That caused a great fight among them because the same brother had proposed marriage to all of them.

If my memory won't fail me, they were five in number. As we were told, these sisters fought one another to have this brother. They hated one another and their relationship became toxic.

If they were wise, they should have discerned that he was an irresponsible man. No responsible brother will propose to five ladies at the same time. That smirks of irresponsiblity yet these sisters didn't see it that way. They all wanted to have him. I call that brother "Trophy Lover".

In sport, teams compete to win trophies. The process of competition often leads to fight between teams, injuries and hatred between fans. Sometimes, the rivalry becomes toxic. Like that brother, some singles have positioned themselves to be fought for.

It is shameful and unchristian to fight let alone fight to be in a relationship with a brother or sister. Unfortunately, some single sisters still do either openly or passively with those they perceive might be having similar interest.

As a single, If you're fighting to win a brother or sister for relationship, your case is pathetic. The spirit of competition may push you to do something foolish just to tie him or her to yourself.

Dear sister, getting pregnant for him won't tie him down neither will it stop other ladies from chasing after him. In fact, some don't mind joining the train of baby mamas.

Those who can't go to that extreme will start cooking and performing wifely duties while some brothers will form a "canopy" around the sister.

A good partner is not a trophy  to be won. Trophies don't last because the winner this season may not be the winner next season.

Only an irresponsible single will position him/herself for a contest. Some singles do this by toying with the emotions of several searching singles and leading them on when they don't have intention for serious relationship.

Assuming you win the contest by crooked means, you'll fight all your life to keep him/ her to yourself. The energy that should have been used for something more prodictive will be diverted.

Feelings and convictions must be mutual and not one-sided. Fighting to get a spouse shows the feelings and conviction is one-sided when it should be mutual.

If you find yourself competing with others to get engaged to someone or you're engaged but you seem to be in a contest with others just to retain your partner, please run.

ACTION POINT: Are you in a contest with others to get him/her? If yes, quit the contest. Are you in a hot contest with others to retain him? If yes, please run.

N:B You are invited to our camp meeting this december (18th- 20th), theme: COME UP HITHER. It shall be a time of encounter with God via His word and Spirit. Accommodation and feeding shall be free and transportation for groups. Attendance is free but registration is compulsory. Kindly register using this link: https://forms.gle/us5FXsgvZJTGdN6U7