Over the years, I have been privileged to pray with some singles who "disturbed" me to stand in prayers with them in their search for a spouse. It is my usual habit to counsel and hold them accountable in their decision making.

Some of them "disappear" for a period of time only to re appear with wedding ring on their fingers, In fact, some with pregnancy. When you ask how it all happened without your knowledge, one may hear statements like: "I want to surprise you". That's not a good way to surprise your pastor or mentors.

Those that hid their partners and relationship from their pastors and mentors often fall into traps that wise counsel could have detected.  I am yet to see someone who did this hide and seek relationship who got it right. The unfortunate thing is that they run back to the person they were hiding their relationship from when the reality of their decision dawns on them.

Hiding your relationship from your pastor or someone who is poised to play a fatherly role over your life is not a good surprise. Bypassing pastoral oversight over your relationship might be a suicide mission.

Dear single, do not stay in relationship with anyone who is avoiding the key people in your life. Any lover telling you to keep your relationship a secret until a few months before marriage is con man. Those who do this can easily break your heart and shatter it into pieces without restraint.

Those who have something to hide will avoid those you are accountable to. They know their deceit can be exposed so they'll always come up with one excuse or the other on why they cannot see your pastor or mentors.

I believe your pastor, mentors and parents should know the person you want to marry on time not a few months to your wedding. In fact, it is advisable to let your partner meet your pastor or mentor before committing yourself. This has saved some from untold pain and disappointment.