I watched a movie where a woman treated her husband badly because he lost his job. She hid her income from him, did not help pay his sister's hospital bill till she died. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she embarked on a building project secretly.
The day her husband discovered, their marriage ended. Then, she realized she was the problem. She acted the way she did because while growing up, she saw how her aunt's husband treated her badly in matters of finances so she grew up with the decision to never trust and be open to any man because of what her aunt experienced. Her aunt also advised her along that line
Her aunt was wounded emotionally and so she was as well. She absorbed the pain of another person and got wounded in the process. She met a counselor who helped her through the process and they got back together.
Similar to the point raised previously about the lover that can neither give nor receive love, the single that is yet to heal from heart breaks, emotional hurts and trauma is not fit for marriage. Relationship/marriage to such a person will always lead to a fight with a dual personality. The mood will be good today, tomorrow, he/she will be exhibit another character and you'll wonder why the drastic change.
Some marriages are in disarray today because one of the partner is still hurting and relating from the standpoint of pain. Some ladies are yet to heal from bitter heartbreaks and now they are in another relationship. They carry their emotional baggage from the previous relationship into a new one thereby causing serious damage.
Though they are married yet they will never trust their loving husband/ wife because they are yet to heal from the pain of broken trust from past relationships. Relating with such people is like dealing with one person having two personalities. They switch between the good person they are and the hurting person they have been.
I have met singles like this severally. When they speak, from afar, you'll think they are making sense because they might have valid points on some marital issues but getting close, you'll hear the voice of a wounded soul speaking. Some of them might remain single for a long time because their pains makes them repel good suitors.
I use to know a lady who absorbed the pain of her mother due to what her dad did to her mum. She became traumatized and it reflected in her relationship as an adult. I knew she ended relationships with two good guys. Somehow, unhealed people attract good people one way or the other but they end up wounding them.
Another thing that is common to those wounded emotionally is that they wound others. They do it without knowing because that is their default mode. It is their stock-in-trade.
