12th June, 2022.

FAMILY AFFAIRS Pt.7

Amos 3:3 Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? NLT

STICK TO WHAT WORKS

I have listened to several teachings on the subject of marriage and read several books and articles. Oftentimes, some authors/ speakers mix principles with methods. Principles for making marriage work is universal. A principle is an unchanging law that have universal application. However, the method of applying the principle may vary from person to person and place to place. To make your marriage work, there are bible based principles that must be adhered to however, the method may vary from one family to another. I remember the days when some conservative preachers emphasized so much on couples maintaining only joint accounts without keeping any separate accounts. They had good intentions. They were trying to build on the principle of unity, oneness and transparency in the home but their method of insisting on keeping joint accounts will not work for every home. They got it right on the principle aspect but not so right in the method.

The idea of keeping a joint account may be working for them or for some families, but from what I know it cannot work in all situations at all times for every couple. Rather, I'll counsel that couples should be open in matters of finance. Husbands should let his wife know how much he earns and same goes to the wife. That's openness. Then both of them should agree on how those monies will be spent and apportioned on various family needs. Once there's understanding and agreement between couples on this, you don't need to enforce another. Joint understanding on matters of finance is better than keeping a joint account. I've only given that illustration to buttress my point, there could be other methods that works. Don't sacrifice the peace and joy of your marriage for a method that works for another person but not working for you. Have you considered the applicability of that method in your marriage? Stick to biblical principles that makes marriage work and find a suitable method for applying those principles.

I once listened to another preacher who insisted that all wives must kneel down for their husbands as a sign of respect. Are you kidding me? What about people from cultures where kneeling is counter cultural? That preacher was trying to impose his cultural expression for respect on his listeners. It won't work. Even myself, if my wife starts kneeling for me, I'll be shocked because I don't fancy it yet she's giving me the honour and respect I deserve in her own way. If I demand her to start kneeling for me, I'll make an hypocrite of her. The principle he should have emphasized is that wives should respect, honour and submit to their husbands then leave each wife to express it in ways acceptable to both of them and probably to their culture. You don't use another man's template to run your home. It is dangerous. No two homes are exactly the same. Stick to what works for you as long as it is not anti bible. Counseling on marriage should emphasize and reinforce principles not methods. Doing the latter could create more problems than you're trying to solve. Search the scriptures for biblical principles that makes marriage work and stick to them. I call you blessed.