6th June, 2022.

FAMILY AFFAIRS Pt.1

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

HE NEEDS RESPECT

My Senior Pastor told the story of a colleague in ministry whose wife disrespected him. The man in his life time was a full time church Evangelist mightily used of God in his days but he doesn't have money unlike his wife who was into business. Those days, most ministers were poorly paid. Till date, alot are still remunerated poorly. He was a victim of poor welfarism. Due to this, his wife became arrogant and disrespectful all because she was the bread winner in the home. On a certain day, she soaked her undies in water and left home for her daily business. When she returned, she queried her husband why he refused to wash her undies. The husband was shocked because of her affront and disrespectful attitude. She took one of the wet undies to hit the man out of anger. This man didn't retaliate to avoid a fight but he was pained. Not long after, the woman was duped by fraudsters. The money she relied on varnished and she died a terrible death. Often, we speak against men abusing their wives but little has been said about women who abuse their husbands verbally, emotionally and physically. A lot of men are suffering in silence. Can we be fair enough to look at their issues too?

In recent times, the campaign against physical abuse against women has increased and there's greater awareness against this evil. Do you know that some men are also victims of abuse? We often look away when such happens to men but we must balance issues such as this so that we can have wholesome and healthy families. Aside sex, one of the needs of a man is respect. We live in an age where wives want to rub shoulders with their husbands. The campaign for equality in marriage is everywhere on the internet but i've read my bible from Genesis to Revelation severally yet I didn't see a place where equality between husband and wife is mentioned. 1 Peter 3:6(AMP) says, "just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [following him and having regard for him as head of their house], calling him lord. And you have become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed]". Sarah, out of respect for her husband knowing he is the head of the family called her husband "Lord". That's deep.

Dear wives, there's a blessing that comes with respect. In my bible, I found a woman who disrespected and mocked her husband: "As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart."(2 Sam6:16). She confronted David on this and she was served her comeuppance: "And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death"(2 Sam6:23). She died childless. Respecting your husband attracts a blessing. Some women are having a hardlife today because they set in motion laws working against them simply because they didn't respect their husbands. You find alot of women in prayer meetings and vigils. Some of their problems could be solved through a simple change in attitude towards their husbands. It is common to see church women respect their Pastors, they kneel for them and do all sort but they don't do same to their husbands. Ministers wives aren't left out in this. If your husband is called into the ministry, that's why you should respect him more. No woman should regard him more than you do. Some ministers who fell into adultery did so because they found respect and regard in the hands of a strange woman. That's not a justification for adultery but do not give the devil a foothold in your marriage through your indiscretion. Hear this, as far as God is concerned, your husband occupies a more pivotal leadership role in your life than your pastor. I know this is debatable but let's consider scriptures: "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her" ( Ephesians 5:25 NLT). The headship of the husband is compared with that of Christ over the church. In the family order, God didn't call that Pastor your head but your husband. Even if you earn more than him, older in age or more educated, you must respect your husband and regard him as your head. Stop tongue lashing him as though he is your son. He is not.