RELATIONSHIPS THAT WON'T WORK Pt.4

A RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON LIES

I was just 23 years old when a sister came to me asking what she should do about her marriage. The man she married lied to her about everything from A-Z. This man claimed to be a pastor in one of our denominational churches and spoke so well and high about himself. It was after traditional marriage while waiting for church wedding his lies were discovered. This lady was ready to call it quit but as a young man, I was confused as to whether I should tell her to go ahead or to remain when I haven't heard from the man. Though she had proofs and confirmations about her story but I was too young in my mind to handle that case then. A senior pastor whom I respect was brought into the matter and he concluded that she return the dowry since they hadn't gone to church. To me, that was a strange counsel because I believe the traditional marriage was valid even without stepping into church.

What's the point I'm trying to make here? When a relationship is built on lies, it won't work. The relationship may flourish for a while but the moment lies are discovered, it may scatter the whole thing. We have heard several stories of people who had a child before marriage but kept the information away from their spouse but upon discovery, they had problems. I once watched a Mount Zion Film where a young man lied about his family identity, his job and status. In fact, he was disowned by his father for impregnating their house girl. He lied to his wife that he was a manager in his company whereas he was a cleaner. The day his lies were discovered, his marriage boiled. You cannot build a precious thing such as marriage on lies, it won't work. Personally, I wouldn't advise anyone in courtship to go ahead into marriage with someone who has built his/ her relationship on lies.

Singles, do your due diligence prayerfully before going into marriage. Some persons in marriage today are regretting and biting their fingers because they discovered the lies of their partner. Now that you're still in courtship, examine the facts, cross examine and re examine them all over. It is not bad to find out if truly he is what&whom he claims to be and vice versa. Doing this shows you're wise and not ready to build your marriage on assumptions. Just be mature in the way you go about it. Also, do not try to impress your partner by telling lies. It is better the person decide to marry you as you are or decline your marriage proposal on the grounds of the truth you've spoken about yourself. If you lie to impress him/ her, love can fly out of the window over night the day your lies are discovered. Talking about Adam and Eve, the bible says, "Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame"(Gen2:25). Though their nakedness was physical but figuratively, it could mean truthfulness. Don't build your relationship on lies.