There are wrong beliefs about masculinity that has survived for centuries because some men modeled it to their sons till it became a reoccuring pattern. While some are good and represents the intent of God for manhood but a number of those ideologies are unchristian and carnal.
Under the umbrella of 'It is a man's world', several ungodly acts have been perpetrated by men while their sons are watching. For instance, our depraved culture subtly legalizes sexual immorality for men but forbids it for women. A musician voiced this sentiment in his lyrics. Did you notice there is no outrage when a cheats but if a woman does, it becomes a topic of discussion.
Recently, a musician openly said men are not designed to be faithful to one woman yet most men who hold this ideology cannot stand living with an adulterous wife under the same roof because they believe men are entitled to commit adultery but same is forbidden for women. Does that make sense? But I thought men who mess around do so with women, why can't their wives cheat too or their daughters mess around with married men?
This demonic ideology is such that makes excuse for lack of control but weaves it around a wrong ideology about manhood. A barbaric one is the subtle belief that a man can discipline his wife by way of hitting her. I have seen men who shared this sentiment. This is the life some men are living and want to hand down to their sons.
Another wrong view of masculinity is that which portrays men as beings that lack tenderness, empathy and compassion. You'll hear statements like: "Men don't cry, be a man", "you are behaving like a woman, men don't do that" not knowing that they are raising sons with dead emotions, lacking empathy and compassion. Little wonder you hardly find men cry or show intense emotions during intense worship. Something is dead in them.
Many men today lack compassion and tenderness. Often, I pity women who marry men that are not tender. Such men want to be feared at all cost and they'll do anything to make their wives and children dread them. They subjugate and oppress brutally because that's what defines masculinity They are the Lion of the tribe of their house. Those men don't play with their children nor their wives. They wear a serious look in the home but are jovial outside.
I know a man who had a disagreement with his child's school on an issue but made his wife suffer for it by withdrawing her from job for a week just to prove a point he was the man of the house. Such men have raised sons who think that's how to be a daddy. Unfortunately, their sons have learnt the wrong thing about masculinity and fatherhood from the wrong model.
God, our model father, is a very compassionate, loving and tender father. He is firm on his principles but identifies with us even in our failings. He has put structures in place to lead us back to track If we stray but he remains loving and merciful. From where did some men get their ideology from?
Dear father, your son is watching. Only a tender, compassion and empathetic father can raise a son with the same attitude. Being a daddy is not the same as being a lion that is to be feared. You must have principles and be firm about it but you must combine it with tenderness.
It won't be a good thing to hear that your sons are difficult people who doesn't know how to live with their wives because of their dead emotions and uncaring attitude. Model firmness in godly principles but be tender hearted. Be compassionate and empathetic. It doesn't reduce your masculinity, rather, it defines and represents it properly.
