Recently, I was listening to a father in the faith in the body of Christ narrating his growing years. He said he saw his dad beat his mum severally and that thing registered in his sub conscious in a way. When he got married, he also turned his own marriage to a battle ground until he realized he was about repeating the history of his father. Thank God he decided to break the cycle and he did.
What I want you to see in that story is how his parents modeled marriage to him in a bad way and he replicated same. You see, no one goes to a marriage university or get certified for marriage before entering into marriage. Though there are teachers whose major theme is marriage and family life but everyone of us learnt marriage first hand from our parents.
The very first marriage "conference" every child will attend is that marital life exhibited by father and mother in the home and it is the most important. Someone opined that every marriage have a semblance of how the parents of the couples ran their homes. Some men are treating their wives the way their father treated their mom. Some wives are doing it the way their mom did it. They picked it unconsciously because that is what was modeled to them.
Have you wondered why marriages keep having problems despite the proliferation of preachers and teachers on marriage? The reason is not far-fetched. Most singles listening or reading family life teachers have the foundation of their marital understanding laid by models of wrong marriage. It is a waste of time building the right thing on a wrong foundation, a collapse is inevitable. This is the reason for many failed marriages today despite all the marital conference meetings.
Parental influence on every one born of a woman is about the greatest influence on earth. Satan knows this, that's why he attacks the family institution because weak/ broken families will likely produce weak, broken&damaged children who cannot depopulate hell and raise the banners of righteousness. Satan seeks to perpetuate that evil cycle.
Do you remember Max Jukes? As an irresponsible father who fathered children with many women, he produced irresponsible children with low value for marriage until he had prostitutes and criminals in his lineage. It is certain some of his daughters turned babymama and babydaddies.
Haven't you seen how this generation is glorying in "babymamaism" and "babydaddyism"? I was shocked when I heard a secondary boy I knew years back say he won't marry but he will impregnate ladies and have children so that he can be free to enjoy his life. Who taught him? His parents. His mother left his dad to be "babymama" for another man and his dad is also into women heavily. They damaged something in that boy and he has formed a mental picture of how he will deal with women.
There are many singles that are afraid of going into marriage. They get disgusted hearing about marriage. The reason is because they come from homes where marriages are not working, they read about broken homes of preachers and celebrities. Those they see around them are struggling in their marriages and they concluded it is better to remain single than to marry.
Often, I tell people that singles must study the background of whom they want to marry. If the person comes from a background where they don't value marriage, you better quick. Check how background has influenced his/her understanding of marriage.
Satan knows that If he can weaken the family institution, he will weaken the church and the nation. That's why the attack on marriages are heavy this end time but I know he won't get away with it. God is also working to restore and rebuild what is broken and lost in the marriages of his children.
Dear parent, what is happening in your marriage right now is what your children will build on later in life. They are watching and learning. You are their first and most important marriage coach. Please, do it well. Let them see love in action. Model compassion, trust, order, submission and mutualism to them. Our generation must replicate good and working marriages.
