I am privileged to meet people from all walks of life. Marital problems are common problems people bring to the counseling room. In most counseling cases treated in church, 8 in 10 are related to marriage&family. Only few people come for financial or career counseling. Until you pastor people, you may not know that marital problem is a big deal.
Sometimes, when some couples share their problems, it can be traced to unforgiveness from past hurts. Some couples are good at keeping a file of their wrongs. Some go to the extent of keeping a diary of such infractions. I have met couples whose heads are filled with a timeline of hurts. They've been married for decades yet they have in their memories of all they've done to hurt each other. Little wonder why there's no flavour in their marriage.
Unforgiveness is a big killer of love in marriage. It assasinates the peace and joy a marriage should experience. Anyone still struggling with forgiving people may not do well in marriage because there is a possibility of being offended. This is the truth and reality about relationship between two people from different backgrounds.
Some entered into marriage with a wrong mindset on this. They did not plan ahead to forgive thinking their relationship and marriage will be a smooth sail. Well, the only thing I know that makes marital journey a smooth sail is love, understanding& forgiveness. Whoever cannot forgive should not marry in the first place. Marriage is ministry of forgiveness. It will test your spiritual maturity.
Our marriages should mirror the marriage between Christ and the church. Severally, the church has offended Christ yet Christ keeps forgiving the church and doesn't keep record of our forgiven wrongs. Christ keeps perfecting the church. It is the reason Paul enjoined that husbands love their wives as Christ love the church. True Christian marriage should be in the fashion of our relationship with Christ.
I once heard a wise man say, "I have forgiven my wife ten years ahead". Meaning that before she hurts him, his forgiveness was available long before her offense. When you see a thriving marriage, the two are forgivers.
Stop keeping a record and timeline of offenses in your marriage. It will kill love and sap your marriage of its strength and vitality.
