Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel"
When my wife got pregnant with our first baby, she had issues with her blood pressure. That was a challenge that gave us tough time but God intervened and she delivered safely without CS. After the delivery, her blood pressure became normal and I was happy. One day, I asked her what she thought was responsible for the rise in her blood pressure. She told me that the action film I used to watch when she was pregnant was what triggered it. Wow! I remembered that during her first pregnancy, I watched a series of Korean epic films that were suspense filled. I was enjoying myself not knowing it was causing harm to my wife. I doubted her a little on that so I didn't watch any action film when she was pregnant with our second child. To my surprise, her health was normal. It was then I agreed with her that I was the cause of her health challenge during the first pregnancy.
Sometimes, when we find ourselves in the midst of crisis in life, business, ministry and marriage, we need to find out what triggered the crisis we are in. Some have remained in a cycle of marital crisis because they've failed to identify the trigger. No matter how long you pray for a crisis to be solved, you need to identify the root cause. In fact, if there's any prayer you need to pray, it should be the prayer of discovery. As they say, until you discover you cannot recover. Any attempt made to resolve a crisis without getting down to the root of it may escalate the crisis more. It would be like cutting a tree from the head without digging out the root.
I was privileged to help a couple kick start the resolution process of their marital issues of about 14 years. When I asked the wife why she was behaving erratically,she told me that six months into her marriage, her mother-in-law made a statement that made her feel she had another lady her son would have married. She felt unwanted and she's been reacting since then. When I discussed with the husband, he was surprised that what his mum said 14 years back was the reason why his home had been unstable. Every crisis is traceable to a cause, the first step in crisis resolution is to identify the trigger for the crisis.You need to discover the cause prayerfully.
Father, open my eyes to see the root cause of my challenges in Jesus name.