PARENTEEN Pt.7

Parenting a teenager will humble you. It will show you quickly that good intentions, good schools, and even good sermons are not enough.

As a preacher’s kid, I say this with all honesty — it was the power of prayer that pulled me out of the gulag of moral decadence that held my generation.

My parents were genuine models. I found no pretense in them. They were pure-hearted, they taught us the Word consistently, and they lived what they taught, both at home and in church. Our family devotion was like another Bible school. Yet, despite all of that wholesome investment, my life did not reflect it.

I was a perfect pretender. Everyone outside thought I was a saint, but behind closed doors, I was a “baddo.” I knew how to act right while living wrong.

My personal experience taught me a lifelong lesson: *Parenteen is 60% warfare and 40% principles.* At a point in my life, I successfully escaped the principles, but I could not escape the warfare. I could not escape the prayers.

Every single day, I heard my father and my mother call our names one by one in prayer. They stood in the gap when we had no desire to stand right. That consistent altar is what rescued me. If the Word was the seed they planted, prayer was the rain that kept it alive until it germinated in my season.

That is why I am never quick to judge parents of delinquent children. I have worn those shoes. What if those parents did everything my parents did, taught, corrected, modeled, but the child still went wayward for a season? What then?

The truth is, parenting teenagers today is warfare. The battle for the soul of this generation is fiercer than it was in our own days. The devil is not joking — he wants them early. He wants them for drugs, for sexual perversion, for fraud (Yahoo), for confusion and depression, for a purposeless life. You cannot win this battle by shouting, nagging, or policing alone. The toughest in the spirit wins.

*No matter how sound your counsel is, only God can keep a teenager.*

Hannah understood this. She did not just birth Samuel; she prayed him into being and then prayed him into purpose. She lent him back to God. Your children came through you, but they belong to God.

Here is how to cover and launch them:

*1. COVER THEM DAILY BY NAME IN PRAYER*
General prayers are not enough. Call their names. Build an altar over them.

Pray that the fear of God will tabernacle in their hearts, not just church attendance. Pray that they will have the courage to say NO to negative peer pressure. Pray for their purity in a polluted world, for their mind to be preserved from darkness, for their future not to be exchanged.

> _"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."_ — *3 John 1:4*

*2. SPEAK PURPOSE INTO THEM, DON'T JUST CORRECT BEHAVIOUR*
Many teenagers rebel not because they are evil, but because they are empty. They don't know WHY they are here. When purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable.

Move from only saying "Don't do this" to asking "What has God made you for?" Help them discover their gifts, their calling, and their assignment early. Not every teenager must be a doctor or an engineer. Your child may be a prophet, an entrepreneur, a creative, a nation-builder. Ask the Giver of the child.

> _"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."_ — *Jeremiah 1:5*

*3. RELEASE THEM GRADUALLY AS ARROWS*
Your goal is not to keep them as babies forever. Your goal is to bake them in the oven of the Word and prayer, and then launch them as arrows.

> _"As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth."_ — *Psalm 127:4*

An arrow must eventually leave the bow to hit its target. Over-controlling your teenager may keep him in your house, but it may push him out of your heart. Train them diligently, give them guided freedom, then trust God to guide them where your eyes cannot reach.

Don't end the teenage years as enemies. By the help of God, end it as friends and co-labourers in destiny.
Are you doing more shouting than praying over your teenager? Have you discovered what God made that child for?