"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."_ — *1 Corinthians 15:33*
HELP THEM WITH PEER PRESSURE AND IDENTITY*
As a teenager, I drank alcohol because of peer pressure. It made us feel like "big boys." Back then, it was unimaginable among my friends to say you had never tasted alcohol. They would bring it to school and we would hide in a secret corner to drink, just to prove we were big boys. Until one day I got drunk in school. I started misbehaving, riding a bicycle round the whole school. My classmates who knew what was wrong quickly rescued me and took me to the sick bay. If any teacher had found out I was drunk and the news got home, my mom would have finished me. You see, the biggest battle of every teenager is IDENTITY. He is constantly asking: "Who am I? Am I accepted? Am I beautiful? Am I good enough?" > _"For I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."_ — *Psalm 139:14* A mother once told me her daughter was worried about her flat shape, front and back. I told her to keep affirming that her daughter is beautiful as she is. I heard of teenage girls who beat their breasts with a turning stick to make it grow. As a teenager, I once rubbed spirit on my face to grow beards. We called it "teddy" back then. I also relaxed my hair and used Sporting Waves to make it wavy. That was how to catch the girls. Those in my generation understand. Why did we do all that? We were searching for identity so we could be accepted. This is the age-long struggle of every teenager. Because they don't know who they are, they follow whoever accepts them. That is peer pressure. Teenagers will do drugs, sag trousers, lie, steal, just to belong to a group that accepts them — their peers. Your job is to help them know WHO THEY ARE IN CHRIST before the world tells them who they are. Here is how: *1. Affirm Their Identity:* Tell them often, "You are loved, you are gifted, you are called of God. You don't need to copy anyone to be accepted." If your home is full of love and affirmation, your teenager will not go looking for acceptance outside. That is one reason we encourage couples to build a healthy marriage. *2. Guide Them In Choosing Friends:* You cannot choose friends for a teenager, but you can guide. Invite their friends home. Know their friends by name. Pray for their friends. *3. Teach Them To Stand Alone:* Like Daniel who purposed in his heart — Daniel 1:8. It is better to stand alone with God than to follow the crowd to destruction. > _"My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not."_ — *Proverbs 1:10* *4. Teach Them How To Make Right Decisions:* If you ask me the greatest skill to teach a teenager after the Scriptures, it is how to make right decisions. Many parents make career, school, and friendship decisions FOR their teenagers instead of teaching them HOW to decide. So when they are left alone, they make wrong choices because no one taught them.
Lord, help my teenager to find his identity in You and not in his peers.