"I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes..."_ — *Psalm 101:3*
Psalm 101:3
Some time ago, a young secondary school girl recorded herself having sex with her boyfriend in a very wild style. The video went viral. Those who watched it were shocked at how wild she was. Her mother cried, saying she never knew her daughter was that exposed.
Most discerning adults who saw it concluded one thing — she had been wrongly exposed online. She had probably been watching porn and consuming a lot of lewd content due to unguided exposure to social media.
Back in the days when mobile phones newly came into Nigeria, the phones we had were mainly for calls and SMS. We bought tickets to browse in cyber cafes. There was no time to surf the internet unnecessarily. We went there to check and send emails or search Google for assignments.
Today, the game has changed. With cheap data and Android phones, the internet is now in everyone's pocket. Most teenagers live online. Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Telegram, porn sites, betting apps — all are just one click away.
Another shocking truth is that most teenagers were never taught how to use a phone, yet they know how to operate it more than their parents. They take their parents' phones secretly and use them. Some only get access outside the home.
Then I concluded: you cannot throw away the phone, but you can train them to use it with wisdom. Many parents have lost teenagers to phones, not to the street.
*Wisdom For Digital Parenting:*
*1. No Android Phone Until A Certain Age:*
I am not a fan of buying Android phones for teenagers in secondary school. It distracts them, affects their academics, and makes them lose focus. We cannot totally stop them from using phones, but it can wait till a certain age.
*2. No Secrecy:*
If there is a genuine reason for them to use a phone, that phone should not have a password that parents cannot access. If you pay for it, you have a right to check it — but not like a police officer, like a shepherd. Until 18, no secrecy.
*3. Set Boundaries:*
No phones at the dining table. No phones after 8pm. No phones in locked rooms at night. Until a certain age, they have no business being on social media. It can wait because it is addictive and distracting. Preferably, all phones should be submitted to you at night before bed.
*4. Teach Digital Integrity:*
What they post online stays forever. Teach them that God sees even their online life.
> _"The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good."_ — *Proverbs 15:3*
*5. Replace Screen Time With Real Time:*
Play together. Pray together. Work together. An idle teenager online is a vulnerable teenager.
> _"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."_ — *1 Corinthians 10:23*
Don't just condemn technology, teach them to use it for God.
Father, give my teenager self-control to use technology for good and not for evil.