PARENTEEN Pt. 4

Most of the sexual mistakes I made in life happened when I was a teenager. Between ages 14 to 17, curiosity and peer pressure pushed me into things I am not proud to talk about openly. My hormones were on fire.

I just wanted to explore. The guys around me sounded like experts, and I didn't want to be left out of the conversation. So I tried it. My parents never knew I had started.

Thank God for the saving grace of Christ that found me. But truth is, no one really sat me down to talk to me deeply about sex. All I heard was shallow preaching — Joseph and Potiphar's wife, Samson and Delilah — but no one taught me how to handle sexual urges. Those urges are natural. They don't just die.

This is where many Christian parents fail. We are shy to talk about sex, but the world is not shy. By the time you gather courage to talk, pornography, friends and TikTok have already taught them.

The average teenager today is learning about sex from social media — and learning it wrongly. Satan is discipling them through their phones, but many parents don't have the knowledge to counter it.

Also, many parents have built walls at home. Their teenagers cannot share their feelings freely. Let me ask you: If your teenage son or daughter comes to you today and says, "Daddy, Mummy, I am feeling like having sex," what will you say?

*Please understand this: Your teenager's body is sexually mature, but his mind is not. He is feeling urges he has never felt before. If you don't teach him, he will learn from the wrong source.*

Don't just shout, "Don't do it, God will punish you!" That does not work. Teach them with wisdom:

*1. God's Design:*
Let them know sex is not satanic. God created it and it is beautiful, but only within marriage. _Hebrews 13:4_ says, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled." Don't make sex look dirty. Tell them it is God's gift, but to be enjoyed only in marriage.

*2. The Consequences:*
Tell them sex outside marriage is not just fun. The Bible calls it fornication, and it carries consequences that can hunt them for life — spiritually, emotionally, physically and psychologically. Talk to them about unwanted pregnancy, STIs, heartbreak, and shame.

Share the story of Joseph and Samson. Both were tempted. Joseph ran and ended on the throne. Samson stayed and lost his throne, his eyes and his life.

*3. How To Handle Urges:*
Teach them practical steps:

- Flee — _2 Timothy 2:22 says "Flee also youthful lusts."_ Don't stay and pray in temptation, run.
- Guard your eyes — _Job 31:1 - "I made a covenant with mine eyes..."_ What enters the mind controls the body.
- Avoid being alone in dark, lonely places with the opposite sex.
- Let them know their greatest sexual organ is their mind, not their private parts. If they can control what goes into their mind through what they watch, listen to and discuss, they can control their body.

*4. For Girls:*
Teach self-worth. You are not valuable because many boys want you. You are valuable because God made you fearfully and wonderfully. _Psalm 139:14_.

Teach them they don't need validation from a boy to feel loved. They are complete in Christ.

Fathers, love your daughters well. Hug them, affirm them, spend time with them. When a daughter is loved at home, she will not run after fake love from boys outside.

And mothers, create an atmosphere where your daughter can say, "Mummy, a boy is disturbing me," without you shouting, "You want to bring pregnancy to my house!" If you shout, she will never tell you again.

*5. For Boys:*
Teach responsibility and self-control. A real man is not controlled by his erection. Erection should not give him direction.

Let him know his worth as a man is not in how many girls he has slept with, but in finding purpose and fulfilling it. Self-control is true strength.

Sex education is not a one-time talk. It is a continuous, open conversation with love and truth.