1Cor13:5 Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. CEV
A couple had serious crisis in their marriage. The wife always pick on little faults and she'll magnify them beyond proportion. The man was tolerant of her fault-finding attitude. Even when the man didn't say a word of rebuke to her in response to her bad attitude, this woman would want to force words out of her husband's mouth hoping to hold on to his words as reason to find more faults. When the matter became unbearable, they decided to meet a counselor. The counselor heard from both of them and he was quick to discern that the wife was sensitive to little faults that could be ignored, he instructed that they should make two boxes. Anytime they're offended, instead of shouting at each other, they should write the faults,the date and hour it happened on a sheet of paper and put it into the box. The counselor requested that they should bring the boxes after two weeks.
After two weeks, the wife's box was filled with several complaints about her husband but the husband's box has only one sheet of paper. The counselor read what he wrote aloud: "Dear wife, I love you despite your short comings. I overlooked your shortcoming and I chose not to dwell on them just to save our marriage because we are better together than separated". The woman realized that she was on the wrong path because her focus was always on the little faults of her husband instead of dwelling on his strength. Thank God their marriage was rescued but what about so many marriages that are dead because of constant fault-finding? Nobody want to live with a man or woman that sees faults all the time. No employee would be motivated working with a boss that has no single word of praise.
If you look for faults in your spouse, you will find a lot. One of the several ways to murder love and assassinate affection is to be fault finding always. I have not seen a marriage where love and affection coexist with fault finding. You need to realize you are not married to a perfect man or woman. There are certain things you may be able to change but there are things you cannot change in your spouse. You will need to endure and pray to cope with those things you cannot change. Also, don't allow those things that you cannot change to cause constant misunderstanding. There's something good about your spouse that you may not be seeing. Everyone want to be celebrated. Celebrate the good things you see in your spouse and trust God to help you transform those things you've tried to change with your human effort. Don't murder love and assassinate affection with constant fault finding.
Father, the love and affection in my marriage shall not die in Jesus name.