A FUNNY CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE

One night, we were in the living room. I was watching football. Our children were with us as well.

My wife drew my attention to an issue bothering her though she presented it playfully.

She made me realize that after we got married, I've bought her Christmas&New year dress twice. Never knew she was counting it for me.

I've never missed buying Christmas and New year dresses for the children but I've missed hers several times except twice. Phew!

Playfully, she said: "Till I left my dad's house, he use to buy me dress every festive season". That was an indirect way of saying: "I miss my dad."

I responded by saying: "Feel free to go back and meet your dad." Though the mood of our conversation was jovial but I know some wives may make a big issue out of that little thing.

Thank God my wife didn't but I learnt a few things from that funny conversation as a husband.

Wise husbands don't wait until their wives frown their faces before finding out what is bothering their mind. Even in jovial conversations, you can pick certain signals.

Husband, pay attention to little details. Certain things mean so much to your wife. They may be little to us but it is a big deal to them. Checking on her during the day speaks volume about your love to her.

When my wife is away from home, sometimes she'll call to ask how I was doing. To me, that was unnecessary because we departed a few hours but her mind was with me.

I always assume she's fine throughout the day so I don't call but to her, that doesn't go well with her.

Those little things we often overlook could be misinterpreted as: 'Oh! he's not in love with me anymore' or 'He doesn't care about me as he use to'.

Several times, I've given her money to buy dress but not during the festive seasons. I thought she is like me in that regard.

I rarely buy clothes except there's a pressing need for it. I just didn't have a culture of changing my wardrobe often but I noticed it is not the same with most women, my wife inclusive.

My focus is always on the children because I felt it was an extrinsic need for children during the celebrations. Same applies when I was a child. I disturbed my parents for those things.

However, I discovered there's still a "Child" in my wife who misses her dad. Fond memories of Christmas and New year celebrations in her dad's house flooded her mind.

Husbands, don't compete with her dad just be a "dad" to her . That's why you married her. Don't invest time, money, attention and care on your children at the expense of your wife. Carry everyone along.

Oftentimes, we think only women shift all the care and attention to their children and neglect their husbands. Some men are fond of doing same too.

The "Child" in your wife has a love language that reassures her of your love at all times. Little gifts here and there, attention, a phone call during the day to check on her, a Christmas dress and other things may mean much to her than you think.

Failure to discover her love language will always bring her to that point where she either react or start thinking she's not loved.

As far as God is concerned, you're her new "dad". The responsibility to "father" her was transferred to you the moment her father handed her over to you.

A good father cultivates his children and brings out the best in them. You owe your wife the same responsibility.

If after 10 years of marriage she's still the same without any improvement in her life, that may be a pointer to your failure in discharging your "fatherly" role.

True husbands must have something valuable to offer. God didn't give you a wife because he want you to discharge your sexual pressure on her or through her. Remember, she's not a sperm toilet.

Your wife is your first developmental "project" not that two plot of land. As you build a house, build her for life and destiny.

Inclusive in the cultivation role of a father is adequate care. I haven't seen a serious farmer who plant seeds and doesn't look back to water the seed and remove weeds. That's how cultivators care for their plants.

The responsibility to care for her was entrusted into your hands when you made a vow in the presence of God and the faithfuls.

Don't ignore your wife to the point where she'll begin to miss her dad. This doesn't have anything to do with having plenty money.

You only need to acquire the skill of a husbandman.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered ( 1 Pet 3:7).