SINGLES, BE WISE Pt.2

BIBLE-BASED VALUES MATTERS

Singles, be wise. You need the wisdom of God to discern the core values or value system of that person that is all over you.

So much has been said about finding a mate you're compatible with vision-wise but rarely will you find emphasis being laid on checking on their values.

What makes marriage work is not sameness or similarity in vision as some think but the value system of those in marriage. That you're a singer and he's a keyboardist will not necessarily translate into a successful marriage.

That you both are preachers doesn't mean your marriage will be perfect. Two preachers can marry and make a mess of their marriages If they do not have bible-based values.

There's no marriage rule that says a Pastor must surely marry pastors or make a pastor out of their spouses. An engineer can make a good spouse for a pastor If both have sound bible-based value system.

Purpose and vision compatibility doesn't mean sameness or exactness in purpose. True purpose and vision compatibility is when the life assignment of both finds expression in the other and necessary support is given.

Check his/her value system

I knew a certain married man when he was single. He told me women deserve to be slapped sometimes when they misbehave.

At the time he said this to me, he wasn't married. Years after he got married, I visited his home and I met his wife.

Without asking about their marriage, the wife began to tell me how this man beat her and even rub his sexual escapades on her face.

Immediately, I remembered what the man told me when he was single. That's his value system at work in his marriage.

An online dictionary defines value system as a person's standards and self-discipline set, based on the common sense and wisdom of knowing what the proper moral rules and discipline are, and the amount of willingness to see themselves and others abide by them.

To break it down properly, it is what you place value on. Simple!

Value systems are proscriptive and prescriptive beliefs; they affect ethical behaviour of a person or are the basis of their intentional activities.

As such, values reflect a person's sense of right and wrong or what "ought" to be.

Before you commit yourself to any relationship especially marriage, be very sure of the person's value system. What does he see as right or wrong?

Our perception of 'right's and 'wrong' is rooted in our value system. Don't go to the altar with a sister or brother until you're sure your value system aligns.

I know a man that believe a man can cheat and still love his wife but a woman cannot cheat and still love her husband, how true? That's his value system. And he confessed to cheating on his wife.

I am one of those that believe that people hardly change in marriage.

What we call 'change' of behaviour in marriage sometime is an evolution of hidden value systems.

If you relate with people consciously and with your spiritual antenna on, their value system would be revealed in their words, character or nuances even if they try to hide it.

Sometimes, when someone hasn't done a thing, you can perceive what he can do or would do under certain conditions.

Diagnose financial, child training, family commitment, and spiritual value systems. Don't be carried away by charisma. This is one of the wisdom you need in choosing the right spouse.

Above all, the value system that is not rooted in the bible maybe dangerous to your marriage and general well being. Watch it.