Proverbs 2:11 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: KJV
Recently, I listened to an elder speaking about marriage and misunderstanding. He said, "the word misunderstanding comprises of two words, miss+understanding. That mean there is an understanding that is missing." That struck me. Immediately, I had a clear picture of what misunderstanding is all about, "missing understanding". When understanding is missing, misunderstanding is inevitable. However, misunderstanding can be avoided if there's issue-based communication aimed at finding peace. I find the issue of mutual understanding crucial to the peace of any marriage but the journey to reaching solid understanding must start during courtship. Amos 3:3 says,"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?".
The phrase "irreconcilable difference(s)" which is the alibi for divorce in most cases is as a result of prolong misunderstanding. It could mean that they tried to reconcile their differences but it just couldn't work out. I am of the opinion that two believers who are led by the Spirit of God has no genuine reason to divorce except one chooses to take sides with the devil. The first step to resolving any marital misunderstanding is to find the understanding that is missing. This applies to other areas of life. Once what is missing is found and restored, understanding is would be in place. Apostle Peter counseled men along this line in 1 Pet3:7, "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. TREAT YOUR WIFE WITH UNDERSTANDING as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered." Even scriptures recommend "Understanding" as the basis for a healthy marriage without which there would be misunderstanding.
Most of the time, the cause of marital breakdown in homes "A" is what strengthened home "B". Understanding makes the difference. The writer of Proverbs4:7 stressed on this issue of understanding as though it is what gives wisdom value: "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: AND WITH ALL THY GETTING GET UNDERSTANDING". Proverbs 4:7 KJV. Understanding gives wisdom value. There are 'wise men' with failed marriages but I'm yet to see a man of understanding with a failed home. If you're deep in the waters of marital crisis, find the understanding that is missing. Peace can reign in your home again. You can fall in love over and over again. Just find that understanding that is missing. If you're in courtship, start issue-based discussions that can foster understanding in your marriage. Don't overlook little details.
Hold your hands in agreement with your spouse and pray thus: 'Father, I come against the spirit that drives misunderstanding in our home. Devil I rebuke you in Jesus name".