Luke6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.ESV
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VALUE SYSTEM
I knew a certain married man when he was single. He told me that women deserve to be slapped sometimes when they misbehave. At the time he said this to me, he wasn't married. Years after he got married, I visited his home and I met his wife. Without asking about their marriage, the wife began to tell me how this man beat her and even rob his sexual escapades on her face. Immediately, I remembered what the man told me when he was single. That's his value system at work in his marriage. An online dictionary defines value system as a person's standards and self-discipline set, based on the common sense and wisdom of knowing what the proper moral rules and discipline are, and the amount of willingness to see themselves and others abide by them. To break it down properly, it is what you place value on. Simple!
Value systems are proscriptive and prescriptive beliefs; they affect ethical behaviour of a person or are the basis of their intentional activities. As such, values reflect a person's sense of right and wrong or what "ought" to be. Before you commit yourself to any relationship especially marriage, be very sure of the person's value system. What does he see as right or wrong? Our perception of 'right's and 'wrong' is rooted in our value system. Don't go to the altar with a sister or brother until you're sure your value system aligns. I know a man that believe that a man can cheat and still love his wife but a woman cannot cheat and still love her husband, how true? That's his value system. And he confessed to cheating on his wife.
I am one of those that believe that people hardly change in marriage. What we call 'change' of behaviour in marriage sometime is an evolution of hidden value systems. If you relate with people consciously and with your spiritual antenna on, their value system would be revealed in their words, character or nuances even if they try to hide it. Sometimes, when someone hasn't done a thing, you can perceive what he can do or would do under certain conditions.Diagnose financial, child training, family commitment, and spiritual value systems. Above all, the value system that is not rooted in the bible maybe dangerous to your marriage and general well being. Watch it.
Father, I receive the grace to be sensitive to this thing In Jesus name.