17th May,2022.

CONSIDER VALUES

Proverbs 2:11 Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

I had funny experiences as a single brother. One of such experience was that some sisters desired to have me as their fiancé. It wasn't a secret because some of them approached me telling me how God spoke to them. As I write this devotional, I can remember four sisters who did that. Others were indirect about it. Another sister was fond of coming for counseling and asking for prayers as regards future partner. She told me how God spoke to her about a brother who wasn't forthcoming. So I joined in prayers that God should reveal the same to the brother and touch his heart to propose to this sister. One day, I was in Lagos National Stadium, I was prompted in my spirit to have a phone conversation with this sister asking who the brother was. When I called, she was reluctant to speak at first but later, she revealed the identity of the brother I've been praying about. Alas! I am the brother she saw in her illusionary vision that she got married to. I didn't know I've been praying for myself to see and hear God about this sister. I was naively sincere.

Looking back at those times, I wondered what the attraction was. For a long time, I couldn't figure it out but now I know. A number of them were attracted by "Charisma" or gifts. They saw a gifted young man. The manifestation of God's power was an aphrodisiac for some of them. I knew because some were ready to do just anything. Those were days when someone must "fall under anointing" when I ministered. I was raw and unrefined in ministry. Now, I know better. I have a lot to tell singles especially young Christian leaders because the temptations and pressure from the opposite sex is real even in Christian circles. Sisters fight because of "bro". Some sisters are thrilled by praying brothers or a brother that is gifted in power dimensions. They see such brothers as a form of "spiritual security". That's why Presidents and Prayer Coordinators of fellowships are hotcakes. It is not only sisters that get thrilled at gifted brothers. Some brothers love sisters that can sing especially brothers that are ministry inclined. They imagine having a wife that can sing like an angel while they preach powerfully. Truthfully, I was once attracted to a "spiritual" sister like that. I desired her for ministry. I dreamt of a future where they'll introduce us as "Pastor &Pastor Mrs". She fit the exact image of a Pastor Mrs or Mummy in the Lord. Don't laugh at me.

As a Christian single, when you want to make the choice of a life partner, "Gifts" shouldn't be your major consideration. Rather, you should consider the values of the person you're attracted to. Values are standards and principles of behaviour that guide the day-to-day living of a person. A man can be gifted but lacking in character. charisma without character will lead to moral catastrophic chaos. When you marry, you won't live with the "gifts" of that brother or sister but his values. Often, gifts are for public ministration and they operate as the Spirit wills but one thing that will remain are the values of that man even when the gift ceases. Have you checked his values for purity, honesty and integrity? Don't get carried away with public Charisma without checking for hidden character. There are spouses of gifted people that are living in regret. They can't come out publicly to tell us about the rotten character of the man with charisma that everyone so much admire. Don't marry a man's gifts or ministry. His values, character, standards and principles comes first before other things.