24th May,2022.

THE PURSUIT OF OUR REAL NEED

Galatians 4:19 Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I’m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives. NLT

Years back, a married woman poured her heart to me concerning the happenings in her marriage. She told me how her husband was messing around with young ladies and would abuse her physically. Surprisingly, she told me how prayerful he was during their years of courtship. He was fervent but a few months into their marriage, she saw his true colour. Lest I forget, they cohabited and had sex before marriage. At that time, all she wanted was a husband and she got it. She broke divine rules and compromised on godly standards to get her felt need. Probably, this man tick all her boxes but she missed one thing that was greater than other things she saw as marriageable qualities- "CHRIST FORMATION". Herself needed this just as her husband also needed Christ to be formed in him.

Our real need is the formation of Christ in our lives. This has become my utmost desire. A single brother whose life is conformed to the image of Christ will not pretend in any way to get a sister. Some brothers are pretenders. I've heard of brothers who became prayerful and fervent in church because they wanted to get a lady. I once knew a bad boy who began to attend church because of a sister she loved to marry. This sister fell for that show of piety and they got married. Let me tell you this simple but profound truth: No one can pretend successfully around you except you choose to overlook certain basic signals. The man or woman in whose life Christ hasn't been formed cannot successfully pretend to be like Christ. A monkey can never roar like a lion. It is an abberation for a Christian single to be attracted to someone that has no iota of Christ in him or her. If such happens, something is definitely wrong somewhere. It takes someone who is being transformed daily into the image into the image of Christ to discern and attract another man or woman who is on that same journey. In the faith, we marry a co passenger on the journey to Christ formation. It is good to look out for good qualities in people you want to marry but please in all thy looking, look out for Christlikeness. Don't confuse zeal, charisma and a show of piety for the real life of Christ. That he can speak "capital letter" tongues doesn't mean he is marriageable. That she's prophesying and rolling on the floor, scattering our chairs in church doesn't mean she's manifesting the fruit of the Spirit. The gift may attract but it is the fruit that will sustain your marriage.

Dearest, if we want peace in our homes and lives in general, our prayer should be: "Lord, let Christ be formed in me". If husbands and wives are in the same pursuit of Christ formation, homes will be peaceful. It doesn't mean there won't be issues but they'll quickly resolve it because they want to be in fellowship with their master and Lord. Separation and divorce will be far from a marriage where Christ is being formed into the lives of those involved. A man ruled by Christ will say "I'm sorry" to his wife not because he's wrong but because he value peace in his relationship. Ego and pride will give way for humility. When Christ formation begins in the life of a woman, submission becomes natural. Respect for her husband won't be forced. She won't talk disrespectfully to her husband like some women do. Who says this is not the real need? No matter the number of books, seminars and resources on marriage you read/ attend, the things taught in those books won't work for you until CHRIST is formed in you. How I wish our singles &married meetings can also major on themes like: "Christian Consecration & Development of Christ- like character." Those are the real need. We must master the flesh and overcome it for the effulgence of Christ in our lives. To everyone, whether single or married, this I say: "But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof"( Romans13:14).