I know a man in his 50s who goes around telling people about how bad his wife of almost 30 years is. Both of them are young grand parents. The most painful thing about his attitude is that he doesn't limit his complaint to pastors but he talks to just anyone he sees.
One would think the woman is a terrible fellow not until the day I heard the woman voice her concern. She's the type that is reserved and doesn't know how to talk like her husband but she mustered courage to speak up and I saw where the man was at fault. Their issues only require common sense and healthy compromises.
In her complaint, she also pointed the fact that her husband acted immaturely by telling everyone about his marriage instead of fixing it as the man. I picked a lesson from there. Our wives want us to act like the man that we are and not like babies or school children who complain about unnecessary things to their class teacher. They want leadership in display.
I am not denying the fact that there are marriages that has turned to a battle ground in need of intervention. I am fully aware of this. However, wisdom solves more problems than complaints and murmuring.
It is an act of immaturity to make the matter of your marriage/spouse a subject of discussion everywhere you go. That way, you are hurting your marriage and creating a bad image about your spouse. If you speak ill about your spouse everywhere, you'll make your home a subject of people's gossip.
The fact that you married whom you are complaining about is a manifestation of your low level of wisdom. You chose that person and told us you were in love with him/her. It is your fault. Maturity entails taking responsibility for your choices. You don't choose a thing and come back to tell us how bad it is. Where did you put your brain&sense of judgement initially?
The first person to blame is you not your partner because you made the choice. You are the one who needs fixing for choosing to marry someone like that. Your failure in making good choice is what you are exposing to the world. Why do you want us to pity you? You are telling us not to trust you with leadership because you don't know how to make good choices.
The only person with full right to complain is someone who was forced into marriage against their will at gun point like terrorists do to young girls they kidnap. If that is not your case, please, take responsibility for your choice and fix your marriage. That's what mature people do.
Those whose marriages are working took the bull by the horn. They worked on their marriage between each other not by complaint. No marriage works by accident, it is a choice made by the couples.
Stop exposing the weakness of your spouse to everyone. It won't help you and your marriage in the long run. If you persist in doing that, you'll be opening the door for wrong counsel.
To singles reading this, make a good choice now knowing that you'll live with the consequences of your choice for life. No one will force a spouse on you. Be sure you are marrying someone whose weaknesses you can cope with.
