In counseling, I have heard several men complain about their wives and apportion blames. I have seen some women do same but I want to speak to husbands today because the bulk stops on our table.

When a vehicle crashes, no one ask a passenger what went wrong. Enquiries are often directed at the driver to know what the problem is. Same applies in marriage. When Eve was deceived to eat the forbidden fruit and gave her husband, God questioned Adam not Eve. Why? Leadership was vested upon Adam so he was to be held responsible for whatever happens in the garden.

Most times, when I hear some men complain about their wives, they expose their failure as leaders and groomers of their wives. Some men are yet to realize the weight of their role as husbands. They think it is a title whereas it is an assignment.

Some men married initially because they want a legal sexual partner who will birth their babies and one to help with domestic chores. If you ask them what their assignment is to their wives, you'll hear "to provide for her". This is something some women can do conveniently without a man. There must be more, Mr husband.

There is a reason a man is called 'Bridegroom'. That word encapsulate the totality of his assignment. He is to groom his bride, to make her better, fit, presentable and valuable. That's a life long assignment. It is a divine duty handed down to men by God. To groom their wives and present them complete and whole.

That assignment mirrors what Christ( the groom of the church) is doing for the church( bride). Ephesians 5: 26 says, "to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word"( NLT). The bride of Christ ( the church) is not perfect but the bridgegroom( Christ) is grooming her by making her holy, cleansed and washed by the instrumentality of the word.

What Christ is doing for the church is what husbands are meant to be doing for their wives.

Dear Christian husbands, when God gave you that woman as wife, he knew she wasn't a perfect bride. He saw what her life needed and he handed her over to you for proper grooming. In fact, he raised and equipped you for that purpose. That's your assignment to her.

Stop complaining about problems you should fix. Can't you see that she's getting worse as you keep complaining to everyone about her? Her help is not in broadcasting her to the world. You are to pray for her daily and look within on ways you can groom her properly. That's your duty.

Don't appear to the world as a chief complainant and an irresponsible husband. It was your choice to marry her. You should stand by that choice till you make something good out of it. If you marry another woman, you'll still complain, why not groom the one you have?

Every woman is as good as how she is groomed by the bridegroom.

Dear single brother, If you are not ready to groom her, don't marry her. Prayerfully choose a bride you can groom knowing you can't groom any lady out there. There is one you are sent to. Discern her prayerfully.