Colossians2:7 Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. NLT
SPIRITUAL LIFE FIRST
Most singles keep getting prepared for wedding at the exclusion of life and marriage. Often, I tell people that you prepare for marriage as you prepare for life in general. Some carve out the marital department of their lives and prepare so much for it but they neglect other aspects. For example, in this part of the world, there are ladies who abandoned a thriving career, business, and their academic pursuit because they wanted to marry. The society made them feel that ambitious and successful ladies rarely get husbands. Our society stigmatizes successful women who do not have husbands or those ones whose marriages have issues. Often, they attribute their marital crisis to their inability/ refusal to submit. In some cases, it may be and it may not. However, it is wrong to always assume that all high flying women are not marriageable because they won't be submissive. This misconception has caused many young and promising ladies to 'slow down' on their journey and focus on marriage thinking they'll pick up after marriage. Often, it doesn't work out that way. You don't neglect vital preparations for life at the expense of marital preparation. Your life in its entirety is bigger than marriage. Marriage is part of life, just a fraction.
The first preparation you need in life is spiritual preparation. We don't have the opportunity to prepare spiritually for life before life happens. We only prepare for life in life on daily basis. As a single who desires a great life and marriage, you prepare spiritually by giving yourself to daily meditation on the word of God and being constant with God in the place of prayer. If you have not built this culture into your life as a single, it may become hard to develop this culture of word study and prayer in marriage because of pressures that comes in marriage. In my discussion with couples especially women, I noticed that they complain about meeting up with personal devotion especially studying of the bible because they get busy with the children, husband and house chores though that's not an excuse if they plan their time. Some of these women are those I can call devout and spiritual yet they're struggling to meet up because of domestic duties. What do you think will happen to a single sister that hasn't built a strong devotional life before marriage? Aside the benefits a strong devotional life has for marriage, it has immense benefits for your life in general. Paul's says, "For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come"(1 Tim 4:8).
When you're rooted in God's word, living a life of purity won't be an issue. David said, "How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word."(Psalm119:9). If you're struggling with certain impurities in your life as a single, the word of God is the cure. It is not wise to carry those excesses into marriage. They won't affect only your marriage but your life in general. Some of the character flaws that break marriages also break good relationships and makes some persons lose their jobs. That's why we must get rid of them because they're not beneficial to our lives in general. Those reoccuring personal struggles with the flesh can be cut off from your life as you grow root in the word of God: "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires."(Heb4:12). The word of God is potent to cut you off from lust, masturbation and inordinate desires. Do not marry because you want to overcome lust, masturbation and inordinate desires. Some married folks still lust and masturbate. This is the time to start studying the bible as though your life depends on it. Truly it does. Whatever you invest in your life spiritually will have a direct impact on your marital life. Invest in your spiritual life. You need to be addicted to the word and prayer because it has so much benefit for your life- marriage inclusive. Your life first.
Father, I receive the grace to invest quality into my spiritual life in Jesus name