HOLISTIC PREPARATION FOR LIFE& MARRIAGE Pt.2

CHARACTER FORMATION

I once shared the story of a woman whose husband was guilty of battery. She reported her husband to her Pastor. He perceived that her husband was hot-tempered while she was insultive. Bad combination. The Pastor gave her a broomstick and told her to put the broomstick in her mouth always. He told her that whenever her husband was angry, she should not talk so that the broomstick won't fall. She obeyed her Pastor and the husband was surprised that his verbally abusive wife had changed. The wisdom of learning to keep silent in moments of anger saved their marriage. Most times, character flaws that destroys most marriages are the negative characters that couples failed to deal with before marriage. For example, a sexually immoral man who haven't mastered the flesh will continue his sexcapades in marriage likewise a woman. A play boy will graduate into becoming a play man. Some may think marriage would cure that character flaw only to discover that marriage amplifies it. You don't marry to change a bad character, you change before entering into marriage. Marriage is not a rehabilitation program.

Everyone of us must desire what I call Christ formation. When Christ is formed in us, our character will be properly formed. This will help us in all areas of our lives. Paul prayed and said, "Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I’m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed( formed) in your lives( Galatians 4:19 NLT). You need Christ formation for life and marriage. You need to develop the strength of godly character before entering into marriage. You need it for life and in marriage. One can tell those that will have a good home by merely observing their character. I have seen several situations where a mature adult misbehaves and those around said, "That's how they behave at home." An insultive woman in the market won't spare her husband at home. People don't behave differently in marriage from how they behave in their day-to-day living. A disrespectful lady will surely disrespect her husband. A street fighter will surely beat his wife. Aside marriage, we need godly character in all our endeavours. Why some homes are battle grounds is because of the character flaws of those involved. When two people come together to be joined as husband and wife, they are bringing their personality and character into the marriage. Often, I counsel singles not to overlook certain character flaws while in courtship. They're good pointers to who he/she might be. If while in courtship, he/she disrespect adults and doesn't see anything wrong with that, that character flaws will be brought into your marriage. If she's not submissive to her parents, she might not submit to you. Though you're praying for "Mr/Mrs" right to come your way, you need to add godly virtues to your own life so that you won't ruin your marriage with your hands. The most important renovation project that must be done in your life as a single is you.

Let me ask you this sincere question, can you marry someone that is exactly like you in character? Don't be quick to give an answer. In the opening text, Apostle Peter admonished that we add certain godly virtues to our lives. Telling us to 'add' mean that we have a part to play in the development of those virtues. As a single, you have to turn yourself in for a character development project. The character flaws you fail to deal with today may deal with you in marriage tomorrow. Even though Apostle Peter admonished that we add those virtues to our lives for a smooth relationship with God. I'm sure those virtues will help singles and the married folks have blissful homes. Beauty is good but it is fleeting, it is not bad to be tall dark and handsome. Painfully, physical appeal is not enough to sustain a marriage. As you invest in developing a godly character, you're securing your home.