As a pastor, If there is one problem I am tired of solving in the counseling room, I think it is marital problems. The problem is more than I thought. 1 in 3 persons seeking counsel is likely to come with a marital issue. Unfortunately, this doesn't exclude some preachers.
I concluded that If singles can listen to the voice of wisdom, they will reduce the counseling burden on preachers. I prefer to help singles learn about marriage than I want to help married people solve their marital problems because certain marital errors or mistakes are hard yo correct, it can only be managed.
More so, no matter how wise you are as a counselor, if the two are not willing to make their marriage work, your wisdom will amount to nothing. I have not seen those who discard wise counsel like married people who are unwilling to make their marriages work. They can make your wisdom look foolish. Most pastors have couples they have helped in resolving their differences without yielding result.
It pains to see God's people pass through harrowing marital experiences. I feel the pain of some even to the point of almost shedding tears but I controlled myself because it is against the ethics of counseling for two people to be crying. Some stories touch the empathetic side of me and I wish some were never married. They would have been spared of some troubles.
Good marriage is possible but it starts with making the right choice given that you are mature in character for marriage yourself. Marriage is sweet and nothing is wrong with this holy institution itself. It is the people entering into it unprepared and unformed that have issues.
Topmost on the list of signs you should watchout for when making a choice of whom to marry is the salvation of the person you want to fall in love with or you might have fallen in love with. For me, it is a no no for any child of God to marry an unsaved person regardless of how nice he or she is. Some are married to unsaved lovers and they are regrettinf it today.
I know a woman who once spoke out in the open meeting in a church gathering that one of the mistakes she made was marrying an unbeliever. May be she was warned when she wanted to marry him but experience taught her a big lesson. Dear single, this is avoidable. A man or woman without Jesus is unpredictable.
The bible says, "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?"( 2 Cor 6:14 NLT).
Some are facing marital challenges with their spouses because they married an unsaved church goer. They met in church but the person they fell in love with is not in Christ. There are so many singles today who are in church but are not in Christ. They have become a trap for genuine ones looking for a spouse.
They know all our songs and can pray the way we pray but the life of Christ is not in them. Christ has not ben formed in them at all. I have seen marital cases between some couples that reveal one of the two is not saved yet. There are things a child of God will not do or say because the Spirit of God now lives in them.
If you truly love yourself and desire to experience marital bliss, make up your mind to yield to this counsel and listen to the voice of wisdom. Don't try to be philosophical with this truth like some did in the past and are still doing now. The pains and agony of marital troubles can turn your philosophical leanings to stinking folly. I have seen this several times, take heed.
