MY CONVERSATION WITH A POLYGAMIST

Recently, I had a conversation with a polygamist on the issue of adultery. Though we started our discussion on a different issue, gradually it progressed into marriage. We discussed on marriage and what the standard of God is on the issue of monogamy & polygamy. He said that it is better to have many wives than to have secret affair. He opined that polygamy is the cure for adultery. When he said that, I asked why some polygamist don't stop at two wives since the second came in as the solution for adultery? Further, I asked if he knows that some polygamists still have secret affair outside marriage despite having several options under their roof. He affirmed that to be true. Then I told him that having multiple wives isn't the cure for sexual weakness. At that moment, he was calm and he gave me listening ears.

Brethren, have you ever wondered what God is trying to teach us when he demanded us to be faithful to our spouse and to keep the marriage bed undefiled? The very discipline God want us to imbibe is self control which is one of the vital fruit of the spirit. The writer of proverbs(25:28) says, "A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls". Of a truth, we all come under temptation to cheat and be unfaithful at one point or the other. You'll be untruthful to say that you've never admired another person since you got married even if it is once. That very carnal desire is what God is teaching us to control. He could have killed that inordinate desire in us with His power but He didn't because He want us to take responsibility for our actions. Most polygamists felt the way to control themselves was to bring their object of lust home instead of stealing glances from afar but only for them to realize that they still lust after other women. The same applies to singles who think marriage is the cure for fornication.

If you can't control your sexual urge before marriage, entering into marriage may worsen your problem unless you deal with it. How will you cope if your spouse travel or is indisposed? I know some brothers think they'll have sex everyday in marriage but I don't know of any hardworking man/woman who is available every night. Some persons have made marriage to look like an escape valve for sexual indiscipline. From experience, it is not. The discipline and self control you lack before marriage will not be injected into you automatically in marriage. Marriage is not a rehabilitation program. To develop self control, a sound relationship with Jesus through prayer, word and obedience is the starting point. Further, avoiding whatever may trigger you from losing control should be avoided. You may not be able to control yourself if you're always around the opposite sex. You need to start living as demanded not as desired.That's discipline.