1 Pet3:7 In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship].... AMP
LOVE ATTRACTS BUT UNDERSTANDING SUSTAINS MARRIAGE
The media is awash with stories of divorce cases. Some think it is only celebrity marriages that crash but some soft sells report similar cases among ordinary people.
These are people who once professed undying love for one another before severing ties. I have asked severally what went wrong in most of those marriages.
As an aside, I have observed another strange trend among some divorcees. When asked If they love their estranged spouses, quite a number claimed they still loved their exes but they can't live together because of irreconciliable differences.
I know you've heard that statement too. If a man is professing to still love a woman he has divorced, what could be wrong?
My conclusion was that lack of understanding contributed to the failure of their marriage not lack of love. Love can attract but understanding sustains.
We have seen love birds who professed undying love for each other but ended their marriage bitterly. When you talk to divorcees, they may speak bitterly about their estranged spouses but deep within, the affection is still there.
Misunderstanding in marriage results from 'missing understanding' about your partner. When understanding is missing, love evaporates. Once proper understanding is in place, the marriage remains and love is sustained.
As a husband, you need to study your wife so you can understand her.Same applies to wives. You love your spouse the way they want to be loved not your own way.
The way Mr 'A' is loving and living with his wife may not work for you because Mrs 'A' is different from your wife. She has a different love language. That's what Gary Chapman taught in his book: Love Languages. The love of everyone has a unique language that must understood.
As you love, seek to understand.
Don't complain that your wife talks too much. Generally women are wired to talk more than men. Just be a good listener. They need attention and may react when they're not getting enough of it.
There are intrinsic need of both genders in marriage that must be understood for love to flourish. Men want respect, reverence and sex while women want affection, attention and romance. Understanding these basic needs about your spouse and how to meet them will prosper your love life.
What is love without understanding what keeps love alive in your spouse?
Don't complain about your husband's love for sport, be part of his recreational activities. If he's a Chelsea fan, be an Arsenal fan. Watching football together can be romantic. Change the things you can change but don't be mad about those things you can't change.
Father, I receive the grace to love my spouse with understanding In Jesus name.