PETERINE COUNSEL FOR HUSBANDS Pt.1

HONOUR HER

I am a stickler for the word on matters pertaining to life, marriage inclusive.

I firmly believe Christians can have a happy home If couples abide by the teachings of scriptures and run their homes on scriptural principles.

That's why I recommend bible study and application of what is taught in it than marriage seminars and conferences. That's not to say marriage conferences and seminars aren't good.

However, the life(marriage inclusive) of a believer should be built on the word and it is only when we abide in Christ through his word we'll build Christian homes.

Apostle Peter is teaching husbands a very vital lesson today. Often, there's so much counsel for wives but Peter's counsel to husbands must be examined patiently.

The first line of his counsel to husbands says, "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives...".

Previously, he spoke about wives submitting and honouring their husbands as masters.

Then he started by saying "In the same way..", that is, the honour and respect your wife is giving to you should be given to her in like manner.

He was not reversing roles here neither is he saying you should only honour your wife IF she honours you. Not a conditional thing. That's not what he is saying. He's simply saying you( husband) also have a duty to honour her( the same way) just as she owes you submission.

You're not treating your wife with honour If you speak ill and discourage her with demeaning words.

Women need continuous positive verbal affirmation at all times to be strong emotionally.

Discouraged women may become vulnerable to men that will take advantage of them seeing what they need. That's why honouring her is very important. It starts with what you say to her.

Even If she prepare a watery soup by mistake, please don't shout her down and reject her food. Alot of sweat and energy goes into meal preparation.

Simply bless the food and thank God for allowing your wife take you to "Cross River" through her meal.

There's no honour in reporting your wife to your families and friends. Only boys do that. The very day you start that, nobody will accord her the respect due her.

That's why your families will never respect her. You dishonour her and think she'll be pleasing to them?

Never present your wife so cheap& dishonourable to your family. She's "Your wife" not "Our wife". She's not a "family property" that should be tossed around.

Single ladies, dishonour starts when he tells you to go to his mom's house to do some chores. Hey! You're not a house maid but a wife on the way. If you are not in his life, won't his mom survive without you?

If you don't seek her counsel and hear your wife out when she's talking or airing her opinion on pertinent issues, you're not giving her honour. You're simply saying she's a moron who knows nothing.

Single ladies, don't go on with a man who doesn't value your opinion. There are men who believe women have "Fish brain" and know nothing. Such men degrade and dishonour women folk.

If you're in courtship with a man with such mentality, think about that relationship again. God called you helpmeet. To fulfill that role in a man's life, your intelligence, industry and ideas are needed not an onlooker.

I'm not saying your husband must accept your opinion at all times but you'll know a man who doesn't value your opinion and ideas the way he treats your suggestions.

If he continually rub it on your face that he's the head whenever you air your opinion, he's a "horseband" not husband. So he says your idea is foolish and you're still in that ship with him?

That a man is the head of the home doesn't mean he should not listen to his wife. Even If her ideas are not workable, just listen to her and applaud her contribution.

When Sarah and Hagar had issues, Abraham was confused but God said to him, “...Do not be upset over the boy and your servant. Do whatever Sarah tells you, for Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted( Genesis 21:12 NLT).

Stop living a bachelor life as a married man. On issues, the first person you should consult after God is your wife not your friends. She's the first lady in your presidential palace not your mother.

Keeping your investment and economic status as secret from your wife is a huge sign of dishonour. If you have no skeleton in your cupboard, why keep such secrets?

There are men who died with millions stashed in their account but their wives and children suffered after their demise because they do not have access to it. Their act of folly and dishonour made the banks richer.

Marriage is partnership not boss to servant relationship. Men who understand the principle of honour won't live a life of "No woman no cry".