At present, I am reading the book of Job in my quiet time. There are certain lessons learnt from the book which will form the basis of my admonition to you today

First, be a good friend and comforter to those that are hurting. That's what they need not your accusation or holier-than-thou attitude.  In the days of Job's prosperity and wellness, he thought he had good friends until crisis came. His problems revealed the kind of person his friends were.

They attributed his ordeal to his sins and wickedness. They pointed accusing fingers at him yet he wasn't guilty of any sin ( Job 4:3-4, 7-8, 8:20,11:14-15,17). If I ask you, were the calamities that befell Job a result of his sins? Read Job 1&2. 

The Jews have this belief that life's problems are comeuppance served by God to an offender. They call it law of divine retribution. That's not always true.

Sometimes, the righteous pass through certain challenges in life that can be attributed to Satan's attack not because of their sins. Just as that popula sitcom is titled, "The Rich Also Cry", with my little years of experience walking with God, I can say, "The Righteous Also Cry".

I have seen virtuous sisters marry as virgins struggle to make babies. In fact, I would be lying to say I don't know some who died childless including some ministers of the gospel. Yet, there are ladies who aborted severally in their single days who are now making babies. How do we explain this?

Do we mention anointed preachers whose anointing heal the sick and raised the dead yet they or their families suffer same problem God has used them to solve for others? In philosophy, this is what is called Problem of Evil. Personally, I believe evil is not from God but in his omniscience, he knows about it even before it happens.  If we deny he doesn't know, then he is no longer omniscient.

When people are hurting, don't be quick to point accusing fingers at them or blame it on their sins or lack of faith. The latter is common to preachers. We often blame people's sicknessess, inability to receive a miracle on their lack of faith and we even say it to their faces. I don't think it is proper even If that's the problem.

Dearest, you shouldn't be an accuser of the brethren. Where you are and the good you are experiencing is by God's grace and mercy.  Stop seeing yourself as better than others. Let your words heal the hurting.

Second, If you don't know how to speak comforting words, just empathize and pray for the hurting. Those that are hurting needs prayers. Prayers can heal a hurting soul. Be there for them in the place of prayer and let them ride on your back until their faith is revived.

If you can do these two things, you'll be a good friend to those that are hurting.