Song of Songs 8:6 *Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame* ( NLT).
*IT ALL STARTED WITH “I LOVE YOU”*
In my curiousity to study why marriages fail, I came across some shocking facts on the rate of divorce. Here in Nigeria, in 2006 National Population Census data, it is on record that 704,000 Nigerians were divorced, with 230,000 males and 474,000 females.[1]
In 2021, a total of 689,308 divorces occurred across the 45 U.S. states that report this statistics. During that same year, 1,985,072 marriages occurred, making the U.S. marriage rate 6 per 1,000 people.[2] In the United States and Canada, approximately 42% to 53% of marriages turned into divorce in 2023.[3]
All these marriages that ended in divorce started on the note of “I love you, will you marry me?”. If not all, I am sure most started on the note of love. I doubt anyone in his/her right senses will marry someone he/she doesn’t love. The only exception to this rule are those in forced or arranged marriages.
The questions that bothers my mind are:
— Why will those who once professed to love each other deeply turn sworn enemies?
— How come they couldn’t sustain their initial love?
— What happened to that love they professed publicly before friends and families?
I concluded on several axioms. The very first one is: *”it is possible to be in love with one’s spouse today and be out of love tomorrow IF love is not sustained*”. If it is not possible to fall out of love, there won’t be cases of separation and divorce.
Everyone in love today with their spouses must learn how to sustain that love and keep it intact and glowing till death. That you are ‘madly’ in love with your spouse today doesn’t mean it’ll always be like that If you don’t sustain it.
As couples, It is high time we learnt about sustaining that love we professed initially to our spouses and educate ourselves over and over. Most people admire a good vehicle and wish to drive one. However, it is only those that have driving skills through learning that will drive safely.
*A working marriage is not a spiritual gift rather it is a product of principles, knowledge and understanding combined*. Falling in love is easy. It is not something that requires much learning but staying in love is a science and art that requires knowledge and practice.
*ACTION POINT*: It is high time you started learning about marriage. Start investing in books, seminars and materials that will improve your marriage.
*Sources*:
1. National Population Census data, 2006.
2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Provisional number of marriages and marriage rate.
3. https://www.enterpriseappstoday.com/stats/divorce-statistics.html
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