Song of Songs 8:6 *Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame* ( NLT).
*LOVE IS A LIVING THING*
While in secondary school, Junior class 1 to be precise, the first topic my integrated science teacher taught was “Characteristics of Living Things”. He used a common mnemonic known as ‘MR NIGER D’. Each letter denotes the characteristics of all living things.
Today, there is a modification to that mnemonic. It is now “MR NIGERCAD”. I am concerned about two letters in that mnemonic, ‘N’ and ‘D’, the former stands for ‘Nutrition’ while the latter stands for ‘death’. Every living thing must be fed to avoid malnutrition and ultimately untimely death.
*Whatever you don’t feed dies. Same applies to love.* I have come to understand through coach Tusky that love in marriage carries or has semblance with some of the characteristics of living things. Love can grow, love can die. Love can be fed with the right diet for it to flourish.
*If love is constantly fed with the right diet, it will grow, flourish and be sustained*. That is why I share the opinion that love is a living thing. Having seen couples who once loved each other but now are sworn enemies, I know love must be kept alive through conscious effort.
If you agree with me that love in marriage is a living thing that requires some nourishment for it to grow, then love must feed on something because without proper diet, growth will not be achieved. At this point, the pertinent question we need to ask and find answer to is ‘what do I feed love with for it to grow and be sustained in our marriages’?
The love diet of each person differ. That is what Gary Chapman enunciated in his book: “Five Love Languages”. He opined that there are five love languages which are: Quality time(attention), Acts of service, Physical touch, words of affirmation (compliments), and gifts.
I believe love languages are more than five. For some married men or women, sex is their love language. Just give them plenty of it, they’ll feel the most loved in the world. Some others feel loved when you take keen interest in their families or career progress.
These love languages are the diets that love must feed on for it to grow. If what makes your spouse feel loved is ‘quality time’, or ‘physical touch’, that is what you must give to him/her. Doing otherwise will make love stagnant and marriage boring.
Some men show love to their wives by giving gifts and money whereas, what makes their wives feel loved is quality time and attention. There are women who have everything money can buy yet they complain their husbands don’t love them. Those without understanding may call them ungrateful but they are designed to feel loved when they get quality attention from their husbands not when they get plenty money or gifts.
As a rule of thumb, you should not love your spouse they way you have chosen to love them but you have to love them the way they are designed to be loved. That is how to make love grow and be sustained in your marriage.
*ACTION*: What is the love diet/language of your spouse? If you want the love in your marriage to grow and be sustained, feed your spouse with his/her language/diet.
Every single need this book: *9 REASONS GOOD PEOPLE MARRY BAD PEOPLE*.
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