Song of Songs 8:6 *Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame* ( NLT).
*LOVE IS COMMITMENT
Oftentimes, whenever I ask people to define love, it is common to hear some folks say, “love is a feeling”. Someone said, “love is the feeling you feel for someone”. Most love songs centres around this ideology of ‘feeling’.
If feeling is all there is to love in marriage, how come some who were in love yesterday are no more in love today, where is the feeling, where did it go? True love is beyond feeling though I am not denying the place of internal chemistry between the person you are in love with but it is not all there is to love if it will last.
*Feeling is fickle. Its initial intensity doesn’t last. With time, feeling wanes but what keeps or sustain love in marriage is commitment to the institution of marriage*. No one in marriage can boldly say feelings alone has kept them in marriage.
Your spouse may hurt your feelings. This happens in most marriages from time to time but what keeps us in marriage is commitment to the unity and oneness of marriage. We need to emphasize commitment more than feelings.
Singles must learn not to base their choice of whom to marry on feelings alone. After doing your due diligence, marry someone you can stay committed to. That hour glass shape, smooth face and gait causing butterflies in your tummy is subject to change. When all that wanes, commitment is what should remain.
*The truth is that after marriage, you will meet other people who are more beautiful or handsome than your spouse. If you are not careful, Satan may deceive you into thinking you married wrongly. Upon seeing another lady, some men ask questions like: “Where was this lady when I was looking for a wife*”?
*The more you look around, you’ll always meet or see those who are better, prettier, well-mannered and richer than your spouse. At this point, commitment is the only thing that will keep you satisfied with your spouse not feelings*.
*Lack of commitment to the marriage institution is the reason many homes are broken*. I have read about people who file for divorce for flimsy reasons. While some didn’t file for divorce, they outrightly became adulterous or polygamous because they became tired of the man/woman they are seeing at home.
God is love. The love of God towards mankind is not premised on feelings but commitment. How did I know? Romans 5:8 says, *”But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners*”( Romans 5:8 NLT).
In our imperfect state, God’s loving commitment to mankind did not wane. God loves the vilest sinner. We ought to bring same attitude into our marriages. When the wave of feelings wane, stay commited to loving your spouse despite his/her imperfections. That’s the secret of long and lasting marriage.
*ACTION POINT*: Stop looking around. Your attraction to others is because they are far from you. If you live with them, you may discover their imperfections too. Stay committed to the spouse you married in your youth.
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