1Corinthians 7:5-6, “Defraud ye not one the other, EXCEPT IT BE WITH CONSENT for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this BY PERMISSION, and NOT OF COMMANDMENT.”
There is nothing hidden about this matter because the scriptures above made some points clear. It is not a sin to have sex with your spouse during fasting because the bible didn’t say so. In fact, you’ll be surprised that the Old Testament didn’t give an express command about sexual relations during fasting. Let’s consider what Paul was saying:
If you must abstain from sex during fasting, it must be by agreement between you and your spouse. If there’s no agreement between you both and you deny your spouse, you may be inviting trouble. I believe Paul wasn’t trying to break homes.
If your spouse doesn’t agree with you on abstinence, you can still go ahead to fast as there is no command against that. I really want us to be careful in saying what the bible didn’t say. During long fast, I notice that my sex drive is always very low because my concentration is on spiritual things and naturally I wouldn’t even think of doing such but I shouldn’t tell someone else and say that’s what the scripture said because from the two different versions above, it is clearly the opinion of Paul and not a command.
Paul was not giving a command but rather he was advising the couples in the Corinthian Church, that’s why I always love to read verse 6 of that chapter. He said: But I speak this BY PERMISSION, and NOT OF COMMANDMENT. So Apostle Paul wasn’t trying to give us another eleventh commandment of ‘thou shalt not’.
PURPOSE OF FASTING
The major purpose of fasting is to make you sensitive to spiritual things and silence the flesh. And as such, I personally would not advise that you have sex during a fast so that you can concentrate; however doing it doesn’t nullify your fast. Also, there are different types of fasting, you can fast from water, food, sex and other pleasures so that you can pray more.
If you want to fast, you need to decide what you want to abstain from and substitute it with prayer. There are times I fast from food only, sometimes food and water. It all depends on my decision. As Christian couples, if you think you need to abstain from sexual intimacy, let it be by agreement between you and your spouse.
As a wife, don’t get into 40 days fast and tell your husband that he shouldn’t touch you, try to get him to the point of agreeing with you and likewise husbands. Nothing makes sexual intimacy wrong within the confines of marriage including fasting. Some school of thought believe that if you are fasting for 30 days, even when you break the fast, you shouldn’t be intimate with your spouse until the 30days are over. That’s extreme. Whatever you’ll do in fasting, let it be by agreement with your spouse, that’s what Paul taught.