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Philippians 3:13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, NIV


There was a sister who turned down marriage proposals from several good brothers in the church. She was critical of all the brothers that came to her. None was good enough.

Her Pastor called her aside to register his displeasure on how she turned down many brothers some of whom he felt were good enough to be her husband.

The Pastor discovered that her family background triggered it though she was a proud person as well. Her parents had a very turbulent marriage.

That experience caused deep emotional pain and she found it hard to love any man because of what her dad did to her mum. To her, all men are the same.

It is very dangerous for singles to form negative opinion about marriage/opposite sex because of bad experience. When true love comes, they won’t discern it. They’ll be suspicious always and wouldn’t know how to receive love.

It is common to find those with turbulent past and background writhe in emotional pain. Children raised in abusive homes may either have problems getting into marriage or carry that mentality into marriage thereby causing another problem in their marriage.

Psychologists believe most of those who abuse their spouses were raised in homes where one or both parents abuse each other. If their children see them doing same, they have tendencies to replicate same in their own marriages. Same applies to divorce.

As a counselor, I’ve discovered this to be true. Most men I know who beat their wives at one time or the other took after their father. Most verbally abusive women took after their mother.

It is important we raise our children properly by modelling good character to them. If your emotional pain is caused by events and happenings of the past, you need to consciously FORGET about it and prayerfully move on.

Forgetfulness in context doesn’t mean erasing it from your memory but choosing to live above it and not allow it to rule you and decide your action.

You cannot achieve this in the flesh. This brings us back to the place of our relationship with God. If you can see God’s love and mercy from the scriptures and see yourself through the prism of God’s love and grace, forgetting the past becomes easy.

Also, if you forgive everyone that caused you pain in your past, you’ll be free totally. The past often affect the present and threaten the future because of lingering unforgiveness and hurt.

Often, ladies with history of sexual abuse&heart-breaks often carry around with them emotional pain. The abused may find it hard receiving and giving love. Some victims of abuse often approach sexual intimacy in marriage with fear and disgust.

If you can forgive every actor in the film of your past, you can be free from emotional pains. You’ll be helping yourself If you forgive.

You can be free from your past and turn a new leaf. God knows how to use our lives to tell a good story.

PRAYER: Father, I receive freedom from my past In Jesus name.